Walter was spending a lazy Sunday afternoon one August noodling for catfish at the bank of the river that runs through town. After a couple smaller fish brushed against his dangling arms he felt what must have been a record-breaker weighing at least a hundred and fifty pounds! Life surged into Walter’s hands and he grabbed the monster in a death grip, snaking his big arms around its body. After a vicious fight that seemed to go on for days, with the last ounce of his strength Walter heaved the beast onto the riverbank and collapsed beside it, licking his lips at the thought of all the fried catfish he’d be helping himself to shortly.
“Please,” pleaded a voice. Walter turned his head sideways and was face to face with the catfish, who seemed to be talking. “I am a magical creature, one with a family of little magical catfish to boot. If you return me to the river I will grant you one wish, whatever you want.”
Walter thought for a moment, visions of golden, battered fishmeat dancing before his eyes. “Alright,” he said and he leaned over and whispered in the fish’s ear before rolling him back into the river.
Two years later Walter came in second place at the Karaoke World Championship in Heinola, Finland with an incredible reimagining of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” that brought tears to the eyes of everyone in the audience. The public outcry at his runner-up status led to a hard-hitting piece of investigative reporting by the team at Finland TV’s TV-uutiset ja sää, drawing the admission from two of the judges that they’d slept with the winner prior to the contest. And that’s how Walter’s wish to bring down the corrupt officials of the KWC came true.
